


Infertile

by KiraMae



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Gen, Infertility
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 10:30:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiraMae/pseuds/KiraMae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miranda copes with losing something she never knew she wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Infertile

**Author's Note:**

> Mass Effect one-off, characters and settings belong to Bioware.

Clouds of steam billow around her and she breathes in deeply, feeling her muscles relax under the hot water, her wet dark hair slicked back.

She looks down at her body. Naked. Perfect.

Designed by a man to be everything a man, or even a woman, might find attractive.

Lean, healthy. Full breasts. Rounded hips. All the markers of a desirable woman by the oldest human standards of beauty, the instinctive draw of good genetics for that one primal drive that few could resist. Reproduction.

She slowly turns the water spigot. The water gets hotter, and hotter still, until her skin is becoming blotchy and red in protest.

She stares down at her perfect body and she thinks, _not quite_.

She had always thought, _I'll be a better parent than he ever was._

And she's not sure why it matters. There are a hundred ways to have a child in this modern day and age.

But she can't stop staring at her firm, flat stomach, and thinking how it would never grow round with a child inside.

She runs a hand across a round breast, and knows no child will ever nurse there.

 _What good is this perfect body_ , she thinks. _Perfect for what? What is it even for?_

And the water grows hotter, and splashes across her face; yes, that's just water, because she is strong and she is proud and this is trivial, and not something worth crying over.

The door opens and _he_ is standing there, looking concerned. She turns away, turns the water off, hides her face in a towel so he won't know.

“Are you alright?”

“I'm fine,” she snaps. Then her face softens. She leans in for a soft peck on his cheek. “Thanks for letting me borrow the shower, Shepard.”

“I love you.”

“I know. I love you, too.”

 

She sees Jacob and Brynn on the Presidium. Brynn glows, as he places his hands on her stomach and smiles. Another reason he was better off without her. She turns away and does not greet them, moving on.

 

There is Urdnot Wrex, fierce with pride; of course. He has cured the plague on his people, reversed for them a condition which is irreversible for her. A bitter taste rises in her mouth as he turns tenderly to his mate, the woman who was the symbol of hope for her people. She turns away and does not greet them, moving on.

 

A hand on her arm stops her.

She turns, and is face to face with the krogan female. Her face remains passive while she stares at her negative image, a voice inside her whispering, _she is the opposite of everything you are, the embodiment of motherhood. You have nothing to discuss. Move on._

“Wisdom comes from pain,” the krogan says. “I can see the pain in your eyes, sister. A pain I have seen in many of my sisters. Your people do not define you or value you based on the fruit born of your body; why do you define yourself so? Do not let it shackle you as we did. Our females intend to shape our own future; how do you intend to shape yours?”

She has no response. She watches, wordless, as the krogan pair drift off in to the crowd.

 

She is sitting alone on Shepard's bed, lost in thought. _I am more than a medical_ condition, she thinks. _I am more than what my father made me. I will not be defined by this._  
He finds her there, and sits beside her, smelling clean, like soap and freshly laundered clothes. She smiles and leans in to him.

“I love you,” he says. “I fell in love with a woman who was strong, and capable, and driven, and thoughtful. I fell in love with all the wonderful things I knew you were going to do; I fell in love with a woman who was the driving force behind all the change she wanted to see. The galaxy is going to be a better place, because you're in it. I would never, ever ask you for anything more than what you are already giving. Because you've given me everything. I love you for who you _are_ , Miranda. And I always will, and I will tell you every day for the rest of my life if you'll let me.”

“I know, Shepard,” she says, turning her face in to his neck and feeling his warmth radiating against her cheeks. “I forgot for a while there, but I know. And I love you, too.”


End file.
